cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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