I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
