i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
