took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
