no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
