I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
