Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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