but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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