I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
if only i could text you this smell
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
