I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
