I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My vagina is officially offended.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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