whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I believe in your delicious
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
