He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
