Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
