so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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