i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
