Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
