I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
