I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
