Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
