I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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