is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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