the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
