she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
