I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
