I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
