I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
