Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
