i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
