Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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