Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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