so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize