I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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