If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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