On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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