$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
