pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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