It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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