after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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