she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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