I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
