This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
