ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
