And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
