the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
