I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
