where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I supernannyed him into submission
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