he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
