She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
