u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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