Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
