it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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