Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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